Good day,
I've seen similar behavior once db doesn't have enough space for transaction log. Could you please verify if your system has enough disk space?
Thanks,
Alexander
Merge actually creates a node if it doesn't exists; in the merge statement you also can specify data modification on required action, please check neo4j merge documentation - https://neo4j.com/docs/cypher-manual/current/clauses/merge/
Your last query...